I have terrible taste in literature and men. More specifically, I have terrible taste in fictional men. From the moment I read the Sweet Valley High books by Francine Pascal my life was doomed. I got the barest whiff of the character Bruce Patman with his slick black hair and arrogant attitude and I fell hard down a road of pain. Fast forward a few years and I was rushing home after school to finish my homework and do my chores so I could watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer, because in big boots, a leather duster, and hair so bleached it was practically poisonous I was introduced to the character of Spike. (As a cultural blackhole I never made it this far in Buffy but Spike is defo cute. And has a terrible British accent. - S) Considering my penchant for brooding and traumatised I’m surprised I didn’t fall head over heels for Angel. He at least had a soul and was trying to do good with his life.

Skip to the present and I am in love with the character Kylo Ren. Who looks at this giant genocidal emotionally stunted man and goes yes, you are for me? Well, I do. To quote John Oliver;

"Step on my throat, Adam Driver, you rudely large man".

Do I know it’s wrong? Yes. Do I care? No. I want to do unimaginable things to his character.

Oddment’s morally grey character interlude (aka my baes)

Kylo Ren, Star Wars
Kaz Brekker, Grishaverse (I actually think this one is somehow less problematic, Kaz is adorable - S)
Baldwin “rules are rules” Monclair, A Discovery of Witches

The trend for bad boys and morally grey characters is massive in the romance genre. Dark romance and fantasy is growing in popularity and more and more people are looking at these examples of toxic relationships as “spicy”. Is this the Twilight effect? A whole generation of horny young girls wanting dark possessive love interests? If you’re on booktok you’ll know that one of the most popular trends is “spicy book recommendations” or people disagreeing and debating over what constitutes spice in YA, New Adult, and romance in general.

“We all love a bad boy, though don’t we?”

“Yeah, not a fucking terrorist though…”

Chris, Gogglebox

It’s this exploration of the darker side of relationships and imagining ourselves in scenarios with people we would stay away from in real life without consequence that I find so intriguing and exciting and yet we won’t talk about it outside of “those in the know” the secret book groups, booktube, and booktoks. If the general masses can consume murder and crime novels without anyone batting an eyelid then why do we judge women for reading one of the highest selling genres out there? (The idea that enjoying problematic romance means that is what women actually want in non-fictional relationships is abusive is such bollocks too, we’re all capable of telling the difference between real life and fiction - S) The conversation is always brought back to concern over the toxicity of the characters or the relationship as if this is what we aspire to in real life. Do I actually want a genocidal maniac as a boyfriend in real life? Maybe, if it’s Kylo Ren. I mean, of course I don’t. But that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the fantasy. I’m not going to stop reading Reylo fanfiction. From my cold dead hands I tell you! (I tried to get her to read other fanfiction once, it wasn’t pretty. - S)

My love of romance goes beyond the genre itself but is very definitely rooted in books (watching romance on tv and film? Bleurgh, how cringe inducing) But if I’m going to read a book there needs to be an element of romance to keep me satisfied. Just in a narrative sense obviously.... It doesn’t have to be the main thread, but it needs to be there. Of course, there are exceptions to this rule, Lord of the Rings for one, (Sighs with relief - S) but overall if there’s no romance, there’s no interest.

When I was a teenager and in my early 20s I tried to be more widely read. I devoured classics, and award winning books and I read a lot of crime and thrillers, but nothing captivated me more than tales of love and happily ever after. Even better if those tales were historical or paranormal romances. Vampires? Yes, I wanted them. Werewolves? I was obsessed. Dukes and Earls in search of a wife of convenience? Sign me up! I read for pleasure and I don’t see the point in reading things just because they’re being praised or are considered “proper literature”. I have a degree in literature so I know what constitutes good writing, but my enjoyment is more important to me than reading depressing books about Joe Bloggs down the road having an existential crisis after his third divorce. (Bloody Joe Bloggs, won’t stop telling me about how he used to be cool. As if I hang out with anyone cool. - S)

To end, I’ll confess that I don’t have anything clever or thoughtful to say about my obsession with toxic or dark and twisty men other than to point out how very specific it is and that I find it funny that I don’t have a type when it comes to women. Are they a woman or non-binary? Then most likely they’re my type. (PREACH. My type and universally terrifying to late blooming bi women like me. - S)

Squeak

June 24, 2021